Bearded Squids are ancient ancestors of the Appalachian Mud Squid family.
The Bearded Squids consist of purple squid, green squid, and a blue father baby with beards, including a baby blue squid. They appear in a flashback told by Early, and Granny. The Bearded Squids had their own Thanksgiving, by eating a deer, but are interrupted by a bunch of Indians & Horses. A twenty-minute war between the species happened with the squids throwing, and chucking acorns at them, while the Indians threatened to shoot arrows at the squid clan since they wanted to get off their own land, and they were never taught any English at their own casinos. Their fates are unknown, but they may have died.
- One of the bearded squids makes a cameo in the series' final episode "This Show Was Called Squidbillies", on the Cuyler's family tree.