Dean Koontz is a Minor Character in Squidbillies, he only appeared in "The Liar, the Bitch and the Bored Rube", he is shown to own a Book Fair, he is the author of the book "Death: Dead Again One More Time".
History[]
In his first appearance, at the VFW, a book fair is happening their, he is seen reading the book in front of Sheriff, Reverend, Glenn's Wife, Donna's Ex-husband, Patrick Swayze (imposter), a Mexican & Snakeman, after reading the book he say's "Does Anyone Have Any Questions?", Sheriff mentions about a zombie, actually dead, he mentions that "Yeah, I-I think I covered that in the last sentence, anyone else?", Reverend mentions that Jesus was a Zombie, if he could altered the book, to send the lord, on a "Brain Feeding Frenzy", Dean mentions "You know, I don't know, my-my book is a work of fiction".
Reverend say's "Oh, they've said the same thing about mine", dean mentions "OK, It's been great, thank you every--", he hits the Sheriff, the sheriff asks him "Actually Mr. Koontz, I believe we still have the signing to do", Sharif pulls out his gun, Dean mentions "Then you'll take the angle bracelet off?", the sheriff say's "Well we'll certainly discuss it".
Early Cuyler comes by, he say's "I'm here to meet Dean Koontz", Early wanted him to sign his bomb, Later Dean holds the bomb, he say's "Uh, who should I make this out to?", Early mentions that he can just write it to "Vengeance Is Mine?", Dean Koontz say's "Certainly Vengeance...Is...Mine", soon everyone leaves, Dean say's "Hello?", "Where Are You?", soon as Early tries to explode the bomb, he reappears right in front of him, holding his bomb, he mentions that he is trying to blow it up, Early mentions did he find him, dean mentions he follow some wires, which are strings, he mentioned it was not a detonator, it was a bicycle pump.
Early mentions "Oh, Dean Koontz!, my budgetary limitations come back to haunt me!", Dean mentioned, "You know, the black panthers have published a wonderful series of books on overthrowing the government, it got a fully illustrated section on incendiary devices", Early mentions he isn't reading, Dean mentions "Ain't?, or Can't?", Early cries & mentions "It's my Private Shame", Dean mentions "It's alright Early, I can't read either", Early mentions about the book he scribbled up.
Dean mentions he randomly types letters, "If a word looks too long, I'll just hit the space bar", Early mentions that he is not alone, Dean mentions "Not at all, if you had favorite authors, you'd know that many of them can't read either, Mark Twain, Jack Kerouac, Robert Ludlum, none of them can read", Sheriff mentions "Well, hell, if y'all want learn how to read, look no further than good ol' Sheriff's knee here", Dean Koontz, Sheriff & Early all read a book parody of "Jack & Jill went up the hill", the book was called "Fun with Bill & Claire", however they are shot & killed by Rusty Cuyler & one of his Imaginary Book Friends, which was a evil mastermind.
Appearances[]
- "The Liar, the Bitch and the Bored Rube" (Only Appearance)