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The mother of Rusty Cuyler. The xe wife of Early Cuyler

{{Character|family = [[Early{{Character|birthday = July 8 1963 age 43|family = Rusty Cuyler (son) Early Cuyler (xe husband) dr bug Cuyler (brother in law) durwood Cuyler (brother in law) lli Cuyler (sister in law) granny Cuyler (mother in law) gaga Cuyler (father in law) Species Extremely obsese human shape Amorphous Blob
Locationr Georgia Junkyard
hair color Orange
height Extremely large (mostly due to fat)
first appearance This Show is Called Squidbillies Occupation Town Whore

Krystal cuyler is the town whore of Dugal County, Georgia with almost everyone in town having had at least one sexual experience with Krystal, including the series' main character Early Cuyler. This led to the birth of their illegitimate son Rusty Cuyler. She is often used as a target for Early's sexual assults, however they often result in little success. Despite the fact that Krystal is morbidly obese, she is very rarely seen eating, but always has her "Sip" cup with her. Her extraordinarily promiscuous lifestyle (including having sex with Charlie Sheen and all of the members of .38 Special) caused problems during her brief marriage to Early. She had a Siamese-twin (who had apparently become trapped in Krystal's fat folds) named Amber Jean (making her Rusty's aunt), but she had her removed (and possibly died as the doctor used a katana) in "Krystal, Light|}