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{{Featured}}{{Character
  
{{Featured}}{{Character
−
|birthday = July 8, 1963 (Age 56)
 +
|birthday = July 8, 1963 (Age 58)
−
|age = 56
 +
|age = 58
  +
|family = [[Amber Jean]] (Siamese twin)<br>
−
|family = Amber Jean (Sister)<br>[[Rusty Cuyler]] (son)<br> [[Tammi]] ((older daughter)<br> [[Early Cuyler]] (ex-husband) [[Dr. Bug]] (former brother-in-law)<br> [[Durwood Cuyler]] (former brother-in-law)<br> [[Lil Cuyler]] (former sister-in-law) <br>[[Granny Cuyler]] (former mother-in-law)<br>[[Ga Ga Pee Pap]] (former father-in-law)<br> Unnamed Cousin<br> Unnamed Cousins
  
  +
[[Rusty Cuyler]] (younger son)<br>
  +
[[Tammi]] (older daughter)<br>
  +
[[Early Cuyler]] (ex-husband)<br>
  +
[[Dr. Bug]] (former brother-in-law)<br> [[Durwood Cuyler]] (former brother-in-law)<br> [[Lil Cuyler]] (former sister-in-law) <br>
  +
[[Granny Cuyler]] (former mother-in-law)<br>
  +
[[Ga Ga Pee Pap Cuyler]] (former father-in-law)<br>
  +
[[Krystal's Cousin|unnamed cousin]] (Cousin)<br> [[Shannon Cuyler]] (former brother in law)<br> (deceased)
 
|Species= Human
  
|Species= Human
 
|Location= Georgia Junkyard
  
|Location= Georgia Junkyard
Line 8: Line 15:
 
|Height= Extremely large (mostly due to fat)
  
|Height= Extremely large (mostly due to fat)
 
|First Appearance = [[This Show is Called Squidbillies]]
  
|First Appearance = [[This Show is Called Squidbillies]]
−
|Occupation= Town Whore|image1 = Krystal.png|full_name = krystal}}
 +
|Occupation= Town Whore|image1 = Krystal.png|full_name = Krystal Cuyler|voice_actor = Mary Kraft|species = Human|hair_color = Blonde|occupation = N/A|first_appearance = [[This Show Is Called Squidbillies]]|title1=Krystal|location=[[Dougal County]] Junkyard}}
−
'''Krystal''' is the mother of [[Rusty Cuyler]] and the ex-wife of [[Early Cuyler]], a morbidly obese Caucasian woman who lives her life lying on a filthy junkyard mattress, where she had been deemed a local landmark as "Georgia's first outdoor shut-in" and given "squatter's rights" to the location. She spends most of her time drinking from a re-usable oversized "Sip" convenience store cup and scratching lottery tickets. She has an extremely low and long-winded voice, speaking in a perpetual slur. Her extraordinarily promiscuous lifestyle (including having sex with Charlie Sheen and all of the members of .38 Special) caused problems during her brief marriage to Early. She had a Siamese-twin (who had apparently become trapped in Krystal's fat folds) named Amber Jean (making her Rusty's aunt), but she had her removed (and possibly killed, as the doctor used a katana) in "''[[Krystal, Light]]''". She also has a tramp stamp, a "tribute to our fallen heroes of 9/11", which the tattoo artist confused as being a tribute to the band 311. After being informed of the permanent mistake, she displayed ambivalence apropos of the character. In "Keeping it in the Family Way", she is revealed to be the mother of Rusty's human girlfriend Tammi. In "[[Rusty and Tammi Sitting in a Tree, B-A-S-T-A-R-D]]", she becomes a grandmother of Rusty and Tammi's inbred son Macho-Man Randy Cuyler.
+
'''Krystal''' is the mother of [[Rusty Cuyler]] and the ex-wife of [[Early Cuyler]], a morbidly obese Caucasian woman who lives her life lying on a filthy junkyard mattress, where she had been deemed a local landmark as "Georgia's first outdoor shut-in" and given "squatter's rights" to the location. She spends most of her time drinking from a re-usable oversized "Sip" convenience store cup and scratching lottery tickets. She has an extremely low and long-winded voice, speaking in a perpetual slur.
  +
  +
She also has a tramp stamp, a "tribute to our fallen heroes of 9/11", which the tattoo artist confused as being a tribute to the band 311. After being informed of the permanent mistake, she displayed ambivalence apropos of the character. In "[[Keeping It in the Family Way|Keeping it in the Family Way]]", she is revealed to be the mother of Rusty's human girlfriend Tammi. In "[[Rusty and Tammi Sitting in a Tree, B-A-S-T-A-R-D]]", she becomes a grandmother of Rusty and Tammi's inbred son Macho-Man Randy Cuyler.
   
 
Krystal voiced by Mary Kraft.
  
Krystal voiced by Mary Kraft.
   
 
==History==
  
==History==
  +
Krystal is the town whore of [[Dougal County]], Georgia with almost everyone in town having had at least one sexual experience with Krystal, such as [[Snakeman]], [[Dr. Bug]] and a [[The Mexicans|Mexican]], also including the series' main character [[Early Cuyler]]. This led to the birth of their illegitimate son [[Rusty Cuyler]].
⚫
Krystal is the town whore of Dougal County, Georgia with almost everyone in town having had at least one sexual experience with Krystal, including the series' main character [[Early Cuyler]]. This led to the birth of their illegitimate son [[Rusty Cuyler]]. She is often used as a target for Early's sexual assaults, however they often result in little success. Despite the fact that Krystal is morbidly obese, she is very rarely seen eating, but always has her "Sip" cup with her. Her extraordinarily promiscuous lifestyle (including having sex with [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charlie_Sheen Charlie Sheen] and all of the members of [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/38_Special_%28band%29 .38 Special]) caused problems during her brief marriage to Early. She had a Siamese-twin (who had apparently become trapped in Krystal's fat folds) named Amber Jean (making her Rusty's aunt), but she had her removed (and possibly died as the doctor used a katana) in [[Krystal, Light]].
  
  +
  ⚫
She is often used as a target for Early's sexual assaults, however they often result in little success. Despite the fact that Krystal is morbidly obese, she is very rarely seen eating, but always has her "Sip" cup with her. Her extraordinarily promiscuous lifestyle (including having sex with Charlie Sheen and all of the members of [[.38 Special]]) caused problems during her brief marriage to Early. She had a Siamese-twin (who had apparently become trapped in Krystal's fat folds) named [[Amber Jean]] (making her Rusty's aunt), but she had her removed (and possibly died as the doctor used a katana) in the episode "[[Krystal, Light]]."
  +
  +
Her [[Krystal's Cousin|cousin]] was revealed in "[[The Many Loves of Early Cuyler]]".
  +
  +
In "[[Keeping It in the Family Way]]", she is revealed to be the mother of Tammi, Rusty discovered it.
  +
  +
Krystal is shown to be working at [[Ballmart (Location)|Ballmart]] in a couple episodes, starting with "[[Ballmart]]".
  +
  +
In "[[There's Sucker Porn Every Minute]]", she is involved with a porno-shoot with Early at a [[Motel]], who exposes his beak to her for the whole world to see.
  +
  +
== Appearances ==
  +
* "[[This Show is Called Squidbillies]]" (Debut)
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* "[[Chalky Trouble]]"
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* "[[Family Trouble]]"
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* "[[Office Politics Trouble]]"
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* "[[Giant Foam Dickhat Trouble]]"
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* "[[Asses to Ashes, Sluts to Dust]]"
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* "[[Burned and Reburned Again]]"
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* "[[Rebel with a Claus]]"
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* "[[Tween Steam]]"
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* "[[Wing Nut]]"
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* "[[Sharif]]"
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* "[[Armageddon It On!]]"
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* "[[The Okaleechee Dam Jam]]"
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* "[[Krystal, Light]]"
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* "[[The Liar, the Bitch and the Bored Rube]]"
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* "[[Anabolic-holic]]"
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* "[[Atone Deaf]]"
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* "[[God's Bro|God’s Bro]]"
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* "[[The Many Loves of Early Cuyler]]"
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* "[[Holodeck Redneck]]"
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* "[[America: Why I Love Her]]"
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* "[[Class of '86]]"
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* "[[The Big E]]"
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* "[[Keeping It in the Family Way]]"
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* "[[Ballmart]]"
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* "[[Rusty and Tammi Sitting in a Tree, B-A-S-T-A-R-D]]"
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* "[[Green and Sober]]"
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* "[[A Jailhouse Divided]]"
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* "[[Stop, Jammer Time]]"
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* "[[Thou Shale Not Drill]]"
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* "[[Hetero-Cephalo Agenda]]"
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* "[[Taint Misbehavin']]"
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* "[[Bunker Down, You Hairy Dawg!]]" (Cameo)
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* "[[Southern Pride and Prejudice]]"
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* "[[Greener Pastor]]"
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* "[[Thanks-Taking]]"
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* "[[The War on The War on Christmas]]"
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* "[[Forever Autumn]]"
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* "[[Muscadine Wine]]"
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* "[[There's Sucker Porn Every Minute]]"
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* "[[Events by Russell]]" (Latest Appearance)
  +
  +
== Trivia ==
  +
* Its unknown how Krystal moves around place to place, as in many episodes she is often seen many places like at [[The Stadium]], [[The VFW]], on the streets of Dougal County or at a cruise.
  +
*In the pilot episode, Krystal has a man trapped in her body, holding a lighter, this man is never seen ever again.
  +
* In "[[Class of '86]]", Krystal was revealed to go to school when she was younger, oddly enough she resembles her same body shape.
  +
* The episode "[[Thanks-Taking]]", revealed her big breasts to be blurred out, this is the only times this is seen.
  +
* [[Season 11]] is the lowest amount of appearances she has had in the series, as she only appeared in one episode, the Christmas special, "[[The War on The War on Christmas]]".
  +
* Krystal has been seen in a bikini many times before, such as in the episodes, "[[Anabolic-holic]]", "[[Forever Autumn]]", "[[Muscadine Wine]]" and "[[There's Sucker Porn Every Minute]]".
  +
**She also didn't wear any clothes in "[[Events by Russell]]" during the gravy wrestling.
  +
  +
== Gallery ==
  +
<gallery>
  +
File:Early giving flowers to Krystal, while, she is drinking her SIP.jpg
  +
File:Snakeman in a outhouse with Krystal in S1E1.jpg
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File:Man trapped inside Krystal's body.jpg|Man inside Krystal's body.
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File:Rusty as a fetus.jpg|Rusty as a fetus inside Krystal's body.
  +
File:Krystal's watch.jpg
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File:Krystal and her watch.jpg
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File:Snakeman kissing Krystal.jpg
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File:Reverend on a outhouse, while Snakeman kissing Krystal in the junkyard.jpg
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File:Krystal in Snakeman's truck.jpg
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File:Snakeman's truck carrying Krystal.jpg
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File:Krystal dressed as Dave Hlubek destroyed the clinic's walls, and being carried.jpg
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File:Early in the arms of Krystal.jpg
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File:Early and Krystal in S2E10.jpg
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File:Krystal holding a cup of Ultra Sip.jpg
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File:The back end of the Truck-Boat-Truck in the junkyard with Krystal.jpg
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File:Krystal holding a television remote.jpg
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File:Krystal watching television.jpg
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File:Early dumping out trash from a trash can next to Krystal.jpg
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File:Krystal laying in a blanket.jpg
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File:Early and Krystal in church with the Reverend.jpg
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File:Krystal's bra.jpg
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File:Krystal being carried (2).jpg
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File:Police Truck.jpg
  +
File:Krystal being carried (3).jpg
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File:Krystal given a baseketball hoop.jpg
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File:Pedophiles & Krystal at the door.jpg
  +
File:Krystal, Light.jpg
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File:Krystal making out with the Corn Dog Man.jpg
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File:Bandicam 2020-08-02 12-14-50-544.jpg
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File:Krystal at a Butter Bomb Jalapeno Popperit Blasters Stand in the store.jpg
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File:Bandicam 2020-11-24 16-50-06-370.jpg
  +
File:The fire continues spreading around the Jiggle Hut, people run out and others carry Krystal.jpg
  +
File:The fire continues spreading around the Jiggle Hut, people run out and others carry Krystal (2).jpg
  +
File:The fire continues spreading around the Jiggle Hut, people run out and others carry Krystal (3).jpg
  +
</gallery>
 
[[Category:Frequently seen]]
  
[[Category:Frequently seen]]
 
[[Category:Female Characters]]
  
[[Category:Female Characters]]
 
[[Category:The Cuylers]]
  
[[Category:The Cuylers]]
−
[[Category:Bron1963]]
 +
[[Category:Characters]]
  +
[[Category:Sluts]]
  +
[[Category:Humans]]

Revision as of 04:02, 8 July 2021

37 At last. Street cred is mine!!


This article has been featured on the Main page and will be given the respect of living up to the standards of being featured.

Krystal is the mother of Rusty Cuyler and the ex-wife of Early Cuyler, a morbidly obese Caucasian woman who lives her life lying on a filthy junkyard mattress, where she had been deemed a local landmark as "Georgia's first outdoor shut-in" and given "squatter's rights" to the location. She spends most of her time drinking from a re-usable oversized "Sip" convenience store cup and scratching lottery tickets. She has an extremely low and long-winded voice, speaking in a perpetual slur.

She also has a tramp stamp, a "tribute to our fallen heroes of 9/11", which the tattoo artist confused as being a tribute to the band 311. After being informed of the permanent mistake, she displayed ambivalence apropos of the character. In "Keeping it in the Family Way", she is revealed to be the mother of Rusty's human girlfriend Tammi. In "Rusty and Tammi Sitting in a Tree, B-A-S-T-A-R-D", she becomes a grandmother of Rusty and Tammi's inbred son Macho-Man Randy Cuyler.

Krystal voiced by Mary Kraft.

History

Krystal is the town whore of Dougal County, Georgia with almost everyone in town having had at least one sexual experience with Krystal, such as Snakeman, Dr. Bug and a Mexican, also including the series' main character Early Cuyler. This led to the birth of their illegitimate son Rusty Cuyler.

She is often used as a target for Early's sexual assaults, however they often result in little success. Despite the fact that Krystal is morbidly obese, she is very rarely seen eating, but always has her "Sip" cup with her. Her extraordinarily promiscuous lifestyle (including having sex with Charlie Sheen and all of the members of .38 Special) caused problems during her brief marriage to Early. She had a Siamese-twin (who had apparently become trapped in Krystal's fat folds) named Amber Jean (making her Rusty's aunt), but she had her removed (and possibly died as the doctor used a katana) in the episode "Krystal, Light."

Her cousin was revealed in "The Many Loves of Early Cuyler".

In "Keeping It in the Family Way", she is revealed to be the mother of Tammi, Rusty discovered it.

Krystal is shown to be working at Ballmart in a couple episodes, starting with "Ballmart".

In "There's Sucker Porn Every Minute", she is involved with a porno-shoot with Early at a Motel, who exposes his beak to her for the whole world to see.

Appearances

Trivia

  • Its unknown how Krystal moves around place to place, as in many episodes she is often seen many places like at The Stadium, The VFW, on the streets of Dougal County or at a cruise.
  • In the pilot episode, Krystal has a man trapped in her body, holding a lighter, this man is never seen ever again.
  • In "Class of '86", Krystal was revealed to go to school when she was younger, oddly enough she resembles her same body shape.
  • The episode "Thanks-Taking", revealed her big breasts to be blurred out, this is the only times this is seen.
  • Season 11 is the lowest amount of appearances she has had in the series, as she only appeared in one episode, the Christmas special, "The War on The War on Christmas".
  • Krystal has been seen in a bikini many times before, such as in the episodes, "Anabolic-holic", "Forever Autumn", "Muscadine Wine" and "There's Sucker Porn Every Minute".

Gallery

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