Squidbillies Wiki
37.jpg At last. Street cred is mine!!

This article has been featured on the Main page and will be given the respect of living up to the standards of being featured.

Lil Cuyler is the overall tetartagonist of Squidbillies. the aunt to Rusty, daughter of Granny, and the youngest sister of Early.


She sports a blonde haired wig along with excessive, tacky makeup. It has been proposed she has a red mullet under her wig, as shown in the final scenes of the two-part season finale, "Not Without My Cash Cow!," though in most scenes without her wig she is seen as bald. Despite being a squid she has large, lumpy breasts that are sometimes confused with being her chin. Lil also has long, potentially fake French nails, with hot pink glitter nail polish.


Lil raised Early's son, Rusty, for 15 years after Krystal abandoned him at her doorstep. While running her own personal crystal-meth lab, a young Rusty permed the Sharif's hair with meth, making Rusty a ward of the state. The fifth-season premiere shows Lil's drug induced burnouts are sometimes a ruse to prevent anyone from detecting her underground drug operation, which she dictates through a hole in their home's floor. During the time in her unconsciousness, she was married to an ultra-violent, America-hating extraterrestrial, named Lerm, who decapitated her seconds after the marriage. Lil gave birth to what one can only call a 'litter,' of coke addicted children in the episode "The Good One," though the only presumed survivor is Herschel Walker Cuyler. Aside from prostitution/meth cooking, Lil's other form of income is various dangerous jobs for Dan Halen. In the episode "Thou Shale Not Drill", she forms a relationship with P-Nut and marries him later in the episode. In the episode "Forever Autumn", on the Cuyler's farm, Lil made authentic mountain rock candy with the ingredents made out of crystal meth.


Although being a stereotypical southern junkie, Lil is sometimes the voice of reason in the Cuyler family. She often remarks on the stupidity of Early, who she seems to enjoy getting a rise out of. Though cynical and jaded, Lil does engage with her family at some points, although most of the time she appears annoyed by their antics. Lil's promiscuous behavior is not a secret to anyone, she's often seen prostituting herself at any given point for drug money or as a source of income for the family. Lil is one of the few to call out, or stand up to Early even when he's in a mood, often rendering him unable to reply when she breaks down his flawed logic and insecurities. In "Bubba Trubba", Plumber Bubba claimed Lil was a genius; undoubtedly Lil is one of the smarter squids of the Cuyler clan, but was likely due to Plumber Bubba's lack of understanding. Lil has tried many times to get sober from drugs, but she always seems to go back to her old habits. Lil is also tricky and like Early and their father, chaotic, dangerous, and sleazy.


  • Her blonde blond wig is a reference to Hedwig Schmidt, from Hedwig and the Angry Inch, which the creators admitted they are fans of.
  • If one listens carefully, the clicking of Lil's nails can be heard as she walks along hard floors.
  • She runs a local hair salon that also sells peanuts ("P-Nuts + Hair-doos") in the Cuylers' home.
  • Lil is able to speak Spanish in the fifth season premiere "Need For Weed".
  • Season 10 is the only season not to feature her, also she only appears once in Season 11 & Season 12.