Melissa is the news reporter who greets & interviewed Dan Halen on the documentary of him. When the interview took a turn unfavorable to Halen, Like The Sheriff, she was killed and replaced by her other clones & with a more accommodating clone. She is one of the few number of people shown to have been cloned by Dan Halen, She shares the same design as Glenn's Wife (albeit with brown hair).
- "Gimmicky Magazine Show Spoof Parody About Dan Halen" (Debut)
- "God's Bro"
- "Young, Dumb and Full of Gums" (As a Vampire)
- "Thou Shale Not Drill"
- "Hetero-cephalo Agenda"
- "Ink Is Thicker Than Blood, Which Is Thicker Than Water"
- "Bunker Down, You Hairy Dawg!"
- "A Walk to Dignity"
- "Granny Hotfoot"
- "Southern Pride and Prejudice"
- "Greener Pastor"
- "Dove In An Iron Cage"
- "Tortuga de Mentiras"
- "The War on The War on Christmas" (Cameo)
- "Dewey Two-ey"
- "Muscadine Wine"
- "Rich Dan, Poor Dan" (Mentioned)
- "Cooler-Heads Prevail"
- "There's Sucker Porn Every Minute"
- "Events by Russell" (Cameo)
- "Scorn on the 4th of July" (Cameo)
- "The Liceman Cometh" (Last appearance, cameo)
- Season 9 is the most amount of appearances she has made in the series, she appeared five episodes as a non-speaking background character.