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The Opening song of Squidbillies is an excerpt of "Warrior Man" by Billy Joe Shaver. Later seasons of the show use versions with alternate lyrics or cover versions of the song.



My dreams are all dead and buried,

Sometimes I wish the sun would just explode,

When God comes and calls me to his kingdom,

I'll take all you sons a' bitches when I go,

Let her blow.

She run off and took our only chicken,

When I broke jail, the house was burnt and bare,

The Japs moved the plant back to Osaki,

Some days life just don't seem that fair,

I don't even care,

I'm telling you, I just don't give a damn.

My oldest son was born an albino,

My youngest is covered in hair,

The middle one says he's a homosexual,

The other seven's gone, I don't know where, and I don't care.

I just don't care.

I gave all my best years to that woman,

All she gave to me was mouths to feed,

A miracle straight from the loins of Jesus,

Since Charlie blew off both of my testes.

1969 Cam Ranh Bay, it was a massacre.

Get your Yankee ass off my property,

Don't care if the bank gave you the deed,

This farm's been Cuyler land for generations,

Since we beat back them sneaky Japanese.

In the war of 1812, bring our boys home.

Somehow I got spinal meningitis,

Injecting all that hairspray in my spine,

It's a super cheap way to party,

If you aim to kill some brain cells and some time.

Good luck getting that child support check from me now.

She sauntered up to my house trick-or-treatin',

Hottest little witch I'd ever seen,

How was I to know she was 11?

I thought this land was free from sea to sea.

She looked at least 15,

No child left behind.


There's also a Japanese intro, but there are no results on what they're saying.

There is a Patois zydeco version in Season 6, episode 1, "Snow Daddy".