Changes: P-Nut

Revision as of 16:59, 11 January 2022

P-Nut, also known as his real name, Paul Newburg, is a minor character in Squidbillies.

Personality

At the beginning of "Thou Shale Not Drill", P-Nut is a very charismatic and smooth-talking contractor, with even Dan Halen, all of people, praising his abilities and later copying them — with less success. He is rather oblivious to the environmental hazards of Galacticon's fracking until he has a change of heart and stops the drilling on the Cuyler's land. This was owed to his loyalty to Rusty, whom he amicably referred to as "Ruzzy." Despite thwarting Early and Granny's plans to become rich by having their land drilled, he is accepted by the Cuylers' as family after they had find out Lil is pregnant with his child. Although he is hated by most of the Dougal County townsfolk, such as Boyd, Reverend, and Glenn, for ripping up the gas drilling rights that they signed, he remains a loyal friend to Rusty and is a dedicated husband to Lil, as he married her, creating a "Ho-Yo" stand to provide for his family, and trying to secure a job at Dan Halen Sheet Rock International. After finding out Early signed a paper that permitted Dan Halen to drill the Cuyler's land, P-Nut's willingness shines through in his attempt to find a way to stop the environment from being damaged by fracking. P-Nut was later taken away by the Red Whiskered Shalemander, for not eating any of his "okras."

Appearances

"Thou Shale Not Drill" (Only Appearance)

Trivia

P-Nut only has one bull in his stadium, which was killed by Early.

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+{{Character|birthday = August 31 1969 - September 29, 2013  (aged 45) (deceased)|image1 = P-Nut.jpg|first_appearance = [[Thou Shale Not Drill]]|voice_actor = Ralphie May (credited under "Sweet Dick May")|species = Human|height = Medium|hair_color = Brown|occupation =Contractor |title1 = P-Nut|full_name = Paul Newburg|family = [[Lil Cuyler]] (ex-wife)<br>
-{{Character|birthday = August 31 1969 _
+[[Early Cuyler]] (brother in law)<br>
-September 29, 2013  (Age 45)|image1 = P-Nut.jpg|first_appearance = [[Thou Shale Not Drill]]|voice_actor = Ralphie May (credited under "Sweet Dick May")|species = Human|height = Medium|hair_color = Brown|occupation = Businessman (Possibly)|title1 = P-Nut|full_name = Paul Newburg|family = [[Lil Cuyler]] (wife) [[Early Cuyler]] (xe brother in law) [[Dr. Bug]] (xe Brother-in-law) (xe brother in law) [[Durwood Cuyler]] (xe brother in law)
+[[Dr. Bug]] (Brother-in-law)<br>
-[[Russell "Rusty" Cuyler]] (xe nephew) unnmaed children
+[[Durwood Cuyler]] (brother in law)<br>
-[[Shannon Cuyler]] (xe brother in law)  [[mammy Cuyler]] (xe grandmother in law [[granny Cuyler]] (mother in law) Ga [[Ga Ga Pee Pap Cuyler]] (father in law) children 10 unnmaed children xe unnmaed wife [[Granny and GaGa's father]] (xe grandfather in law)}}P-Nut (Real Name: Paul Newburg) is a Minor character in the [[Squidbillies|Series]] with a huge Major role in the [[Season 8]] episode "[[Thou Shale Not Drill]]", his name is named after a real-life food, a peanut, he wears black cap on backwards, wears a yellow shirt, brown pants, has brown hair, a golden PNUT necklace, a Galatacon Energy Solutions logo, he is seen owning a wrestling stadium & it has only one bull, he was also half married to [[Lil Cuyler]] & had a relationship with her.
+[[Russell "Rusty" Cuyler]] (nephew)<br>
+[[Shannon Cuyler]]  (brother-in-law)<br>
+[[Mammy Cuyler]] (grandmother-in-law)<br>
+[[Granny Cuyler]] (mother in law; deceased)<br>
+[[Ga Ga Pee Pap Cuyler]] (father-in-law; deceased)<br>
+[[Pappy Cuyler ]] (grandfather-in-law; deceased)<br>
+[[Parker Cuyler]] (Nephew)<br>
+[[Posey Cuyler]] (niece)<br>}}'''P-Nut''', also known as his real name, '''Paul Newburg''', is a minor character in [[Squidbillies]].
 == Personality ==
+At the beginning of "[[Thou Shale Not Drill]]", P-Nut is a very charismatic and smooth-talking contractor, with even [[Dan Halen]], all of people, praising his abilities and later copying them — with less success. He is rather oblivious to the environmental hazards of Galacticon's fracking until he has a change of heart and stops the drilling on the Cuyler's land. This was owed to his loyalty to [[Russell "Rusty" Cuyler|Rusty]], whom he amicably referred to as "Ruzzy." Despite thwarting [[Early Cuyler|Early]] and [[Granny Cuyler|Granny's]] plans to become rich by having their land drilled, he is accepted by the Cuylers' as family after they had find out [[Lil Cuyler|Lil]] is pregnant with his child. Although he is hated by most of the [[Dougal County]] townsfolk, such as [[Boyd]], [[Reverend]], and [[Glenn]], for ripping up the gas drilling rights that they signed, he remains a loyal friend to Rusty and is a dedicated husband to Lil, as he married her, creating a "Ho-Yo" stand to provide for his family, and trying to secure a job at [[Dan Halen Sheet Rock International]]. After finding out Early signed a paper that permitted Dan Halen to drill the Cuyler's land, P-Nut's willingness shines through in his attempt to find a way to stop the environment from being damaged by fracking. P-Nut was later taken away by the [[Red Whiskered Shalemander]], for not eating any of his "okras."
-[add information]
-== Relationships ==
+== Appearances ==
+* "[[Thou Shale Not Drill]]" (Only Appearance)
+== Trivia ==
-=== With The Cuyler Family ===
-[add information]
+* P-Nut only has one bull in his stadium, which was killed by Early.
-== History ==
-=== Part One ===
-In the first part of "[[Thou Shale Not Drill]]", when many people are at his stadium during his rodeo, after [[Early Cuyler|Early]] shoots his bull, P-nut comes with his microphone, he said "Whoa, damn, Player!, you capped my only bull!", (Chuckles) "I see how y'all play in [[Dougal County]], damn, let me introduce myself, my name's Paul Newburg from Galactagon Energy Solutions, but you can call me P-Nut!, What, What!, Can I get a "What, What?", Everyone in the stadium say's "What, What!", P-Nut then say's "Galactacon has got an unbelievably lucrative opportunity for all y'all!, cha-ching son!, makin' that money!, but we'll discuss it at y'all's cribs tomorrow right now, get them hands up for some free corn dogs!, come on, get them corn dog guns out here!", people with Corndog guns show up & shoot corn-dogs at people, after that event, P-Nut goes away, he is encountered by [[Dan Halen]], he mentioned "Mr. Smooth-talking rap man, dropping science from the big city", P-Nut then says "Yo, I'm just a squirrel trying to find a nut, player", Dan Halen replies "Save me your squirrel analogies! you can't appeal to these rodents on a personal level!, they don't respond to human connection and empathy, I've tried it, Dan Halen mentioned he was a monster trying to drop a Chinese baby, which he wouldn't do it, Dan Halen tells P-Nut "Look, I don't know who you are or why you're here -- oh, it says it right here, wait, you can get natural gas out of the ground?", "How?!".
-The Next morning, P-NUT opens the door to the [[Cuyler House]], he say's "What's up, y'all?, it's your boy, P-Nut!, Biscui-i-i-its!", Rusty mentioned he got free biscuits, both [[Russell "Rusty" Cuyler|Rusty]] & [[Granny Cuyler|Granny]] get excited for the biscuits, Early comes up & gets the biscuits, eats them, P-Nut say's "Yeah, all right, eat up", Early replies to P-Nut "Breakfast is over!, now you 'bout to get your hat bill straightened up so you pick up your biscuit box from the city and climb your ass back into your damn -- beautiful son of a bitch!, is that a behemoth?, on a 40-inch lift kit?", P-Nut told Early "Your wanna drive it?", Early rides it until it crashes into his house, this destroyed the house, Rusty mentioned if he got all that money on biscuits, corn-dogs & jewelry, he mentioned P-NUT was Italian, P-Nut replies "No, son, I'm just rolling with big faces in my pocket!, working for Galactacon", Rusty mentioned what was Galactagon, P-NUT responds with "We're the people that's gonna pull all this natural gas out your land and get you paid with some mad stacks of money, son!, don't you want some extensions for that hair of yours?, that wispy one right there in the middle that waving back and forth", Granny mentioned that she didn't know, she wondered if she can suit her, P-Nut say's "Damn, this is a big-ass spread, Jack, Galactagon's giving out 10 bills an acre, y'all, that's mo money, mo money, mo money!, do the math!", [[Lil Cuyler|Lil]] was laying on the ground, Granny mentioned Lil had little to do with math, P-NUT mentioned Lil, Granny mentioned Lil had a meth lab, P-Nut mentioned "Is that the pretty lady under this big-ass wig?", Lil say's "You here to do some drillin'?", Lil laughed, P-Nut mentions "Baby, please, call me P-Nut", Lil sucked P-Nut's hand, P-Nut said "Good suction, those ain't rib bones, baby, give me that hand back", soon Early driving the Galactagon monster truck destroyed his original truck, P-Nut say's "Whoa, whoa!, hold up, player!, ain't that your whip?", Early told P-Nut it was damn straight, Early noticed is whip, he mentioned how it happened, P-Nut mentioned "That's all right!, That's all right!, you sign this contract, and you can buy a whole feet of these, I'm gonna go to town and get my game on", Rusty tells P-Nut "Hey Wait, P-Nut,, uh, can I go with you?", P-nut say's "Can you go?, can you drive?".
-Rusty & P-nut go on a drive, P-nut say's "Yo, Ruzzy, is your [[Lil Cuyler|aunt with that crazy-ass wig]] single?", Rusty mentioned she was single biggest whore in the county, Rusty mentioned that she will (Fuck) (Censored by Static ) anybody out of town, P-nut mentions "Don't you think I got to get to know her first?", Rusty told him "Why?", P-nut laughs, he mentions "Oh!, that's my boy!, knuckle up, blow it up!, boom!", during a song playing in the background, Rusty & P-nut let [[Glenn]] & [[Krystal]] sigh a Galactacon paper, the next scene shows Lil at a [[motel]] with P-nut opening the door for her & letting her in, [[Reverend]] then sighed the paper, a sign placed in front of the crunch, say's "Future Drilling Site, Galactacon Greenery Savings", when Rusty & P-nut are waving at Reverend, they fish in a lake, Rusty dresses like him in a mirror, Lil leaves the motel while P-nut is in his underwear, Later Sheriff encounters P-nut & Rusty, Sheriff mentions "How are y'all getting rich all a sudden?, I bet you there's gas all up under here, if you need to level the house, just give me time to get [[Sheriff's mother|mama's iron lung]] out of the crawl space", P-nut say's "Yo, Ruzzy, what's that geo survey say player?", Rusty say's "It ain't got no shale, just granite bedrock in this bitch", Sheriff say's "What That Mean?, that's good right", P-nut say's "Sorry, law dog, I know you want this, but not everybody can ride the gravy train, we gots to bounce", Sheriff say's "Well, I-I Wasn't gonna say nothing, but what you're doing here is just bad for the environment, and somebody ought to tell them what you're doing, I mean, what about our grand-kids, and their grand-kids?", Rusty mentioned he didn't have kids, Sheriff mentioned he got sluggish sperm & he mentioned that the whole world knows, he angrily say thank you to Rusty, P-nut mentioned "Have a good day, raisin sack we out, peace!".
-Later Rusty knocks on the door for P-nut, Lil opens the door for him, Lil mentioned it was his turn to get screw, Lil walks out, P-nut say's "I'm gonna holla at you, Baby!", Rusty walks in, Rusty walks to P-Nut & tells him "Was Up, G", he noticed he had a big bag for, P-nut say's "I got to get on, Player!, my celly's blowing up, I got to tap-tap-tap that gas in south Dakota, son!", Rusty told him "Alright", Rusty mentioned he would drop by his crib, gets his new kicks and then they're out, P-nut replies "Whoa, whoa, Ruzzy!, I got to fly solo it ain't no team sport, but, man, I couldn't have it without you", P-nut tries to handshake with him, Rusty knew it about him, Rusty mentioned he wasn't his bud, he only used him to get gas, he runs out of the motel, P-nut comes & tells Rusty "Your Snapback!", he calls him little brother.
-Later when Galactacon is using a giant drilling to drill the ground of the cuyler's land, P-nut using a microphone tells them "Stop the Drilling, Y'all! Stop it!", the [[Fracturing Boss|fracturing boss]] tells P-nut "What the hell are you doing here, Newburg?", P-nut tells him they can't be drilling in the land without their no land rights, the fracturing boss say's "But you already secured those right?", P-nut uses his figure to burn the contract, The Cuylers are like "What, What!", the fracturing boss say's "What the hell are you doing", P-nut say's "I can't be letting no one frack my backyard, playboy, this is my home turf, son!", Rusty tells p-nut "Damn Straight, P-nut!, BA-boom!, whoo!, yeah!, the crew on the Galactacon truck tell P-nut "Nice working with you, you dumb son of a bitch!", P-nut say's "Hell, it's just a job my only job, UGH, I'm probably gonna lose my damn job", Granny mentioned she wil look out for the Rent-A-Hair Truck, that will come at night, she mentioned that the truck is rough like a bastard & move like cats, Rusty say's "Why'd you do it, P-nut?", P-nut say's "I didn't want you thinking I was using you, Ruzzy", Early yells P-nut for using us, they were okay on it because they would get a big payday out of it, Lil mentioned she was going to milk P-nut's fat ass for child support, P-nut say's "Child Support, y-you saying", Lil say's "Yeah!, that's right!, I poked in a hole in your rubbers", Granny & Early mentioned they do it too, Rusty mentioned he scraped semen off his hotel sheets and did put it in Aunt Lil's baby bucket his finger, Lil mentioned "Whoa-ho-ho! Hey!, shh! that's between us!", Early & the other three Cuyler's welcome P-Nut to the family, Early mentioned they were happy to have P-nut, P-nut say's "Oh, Damn it".
-=== Part Two ===
-In the second part of "[[Thou Shale Not Drill]]", P-nut is getting married to Lil Cuyler in the [[Dougal County Church|Reverend's Church]], according to The Reverend, he is a poorer because he decided to RIP up get Gas Drilling Rights to everyone in town, P-nut said he would take her, "I Do!, Get on with this damn thing", Reverend pronounces Lil & P-nut to be Mr. & Mrs. Paul P-nut Newburg, they try to kiss but are hit by a egg by Boyd, P-nut complains saying "Alright, who threw the egg", Boyd hitted him with a egg, P-nut say's "It's rice, player, rice!", Boyd throws a brick at him, Glenn throws big red books at him, everyone complains, Reverend complains to everyone to brother with psychical violence & instead pray for Jesus, everyone prays, when Reverend prays, P-nut drags Lil & gets out while everyone's eyes are shut.
-Later at the lake, P-nut & Lil are at the lake fishing, P-nut say's "I know they're mad at me now, but in the long run they're gonna thank me, I mean, if it weren't for me, all these fish would be dead", Lil say's "Yeah, yeah, nature's the tits & all, but ain't you got a condo in the city?, I mean, you said you had a pool and an indoor crapper, Come on! let's live there", P-nut tells Lil "No, baby we can't raise our" (Chuckles) "Whatever the hell is in your belly in the city, that god forsaken monster needs to run & play out here in the sunshine", Lil say's "I ain't workin' no more, I gave notice", P-nut say's "Oh, y-you had a career, huh?", Lil say's she jerked dudes off for money behind the Bow Mart  ([[Ballmart]]), I told you that", she starts (Gurgling), (Laughs), P-nut say's "You know, I-I-I feel like we might have rushed into this a little bit, you know?", Lil say's "Second trimester, baby!, can't touch it now!, ha, ha!, I been gestating the hell out of this MotherFu*ker, whoo!" (laughs), P-nut whispers to himself, he say's "Do the right thing P-nut, you made your bed, you ain't got to worry 'bout money, I got a wad of cash saved up and a solid business plan".
-P-nut shows Lil his future home, Lil say's "What is it?", P-nut says "You heard of Fro-yo right?, well this is Ho-yo! this is hot yogurt! what, what!, everybody be doing Fro-yo but p-nut is zagging plus, I save on refrigeration cause there ain't no power up in this bitch", Rusty comes, P-nut gets him some, P-nut told him to toss it up, Rusty gets sick, he thinks it's good, P-nut say's "That's some shrimp cocktail flavor right here, you want some clams casino or Lobster Bisqueses?", Rusty mentioned that there was plenty, Lil mentioned hot seafood flavored yogurt, P-nut yells "Yeah, Yeah!, this is the future boo!, seafood yo-yo in the house", Later his house is burned down, P-nut cries, Granny suggested that the yogurt was too hot, however actually it was the townspeople using torches, the upset P-nut noticed his sign burned & he wondered what it said, Early said it was "You need to go back to there to our Fracking Land!", according to Early, P-nut say's "I ain't going back to fracking, I won't do it! It's wrong!", Early walks away to get the gas out.
-Later after Early & Granny covered in goo, P-nut & Lil are sitting, Early shows them a bag, P-nut after he smelled it, he said "This don't smell like gas, E-dawg", Early called it Dinosaur Juice, it had to do something with chemicals, P-nut say's "'Preciate you E-dawg, but, uh, y'all keep your sack full of turds", Lil say's "We don't need your charity cause my man P-nut has got him a job interview up in town!", (laughs).
-Later at [[Dan Halen Sheet Rock International|Dan Halen's Sheetrock Industries]], Dan Halen say's "What do you see as your strengths?", P-nut mentions "I guess you could say I'm a people-person", Dan Halen replies "Now you listen to my strengths now!, I have massive wealth, roguish good looks, unyielding power, and overwhelming humility!, so how is it that you, the rube whisperer, are able to wrap this whole town around your finger with just a few catch phrases, a corn dog  projectile, and a smile?", P-nut tells Dan that he has to just try to connect with them", Dan Halen yells & replies that he is already connection with them through his surveillance cameras, Dan found them boring to watch, P-nut mentions "No, man, you got to get to get with them on a personal level, dawg", Dan Halen decides to hand over his technique, Dan will pay him a king's ransom, P-nut say's "It ain't really something you buy", Dan say's "Then I'll have it beaten from you", Dan pages the beaters to his office, however P-nut say's "No, No, No, No, No!, we ain't got to do that! I'm sure I can probably teach you some social game, you know, get you straightened up and everything', ballin' with people, ya feel me?, Dan Halen does feel p-nut & he will get more street gibberish that he will use to lull the corn-syrup enthusiasts into his false sense of his solidarity.
-Later back at the Cuylers House, P-nut with a paper he is reading say's "Fool, did you not read the clause on page 19/", Early eating ribs say's "MMM, well, we summarized it for us mad fat stacks, yolo, getting paid, barbecue gun, at that", P-nut with a paper say's "This says Dan Halen can drill here in perpetuity", Early say's "That vinegar sauce stings", P-nut say's "And he ain't got to pay your dumb ass one thin dime', Granny say's "Wait a minute!", Rusty say's "What, what?", Early say's "Well, good luck then 'cause look what I done, ripped up the damn drillin' rights, just like you done", P-nut say's "It don't work that way they're got copies", Early mentioned "Copies?, they can do that?", P-nut say's "You just ripped up your copy, dumb ass", Early replies "Damn internet!, thanks a lot, Obama!", Granny mentioned "MMM", "Why In The hell, MMM, didn't you do nothin' to stop this, P-nut?", P-nut say's "Damn it, I've tried to save your asses", Early mentions "Y'all clam down, now, I have a plan", P-nut mentioned that he can't put dynamite in Dan Halen's butt hole, Early mentioned "Why the hell not?", P-nut mentioned "It's not legal or practical or probably even possible", Early mentioned "Naw, he done got him a butt hole", "I seen it", P-nut say's "That's not what I'm talking about!", Early say's "Well, then, you then, you come up with a damn idear!".
-Later at the library after looking for old law animal books of a special animal that will protect them, P-nut, Rusty & Sheriff read a book about the [[Red Whiskered Shalemander|red-whiskered Shalemander]], a salamander like monster that lurks in the North Georgia mountains, he would come if children didn't finish their okra & climb out of the earth & UN-darn all their socks, P-nut mentions it sounded like a fairy-tale, Sheriff mentioned it was real, his mama told him about it, P-nut thinks that they will tell Dan Halen about the wild life refuge of the red whiskered Shalemander & won't be able to drill, Rusty through it won't work, P-nut thinks it will work.
-At The Shalemander Sanctuary, he said "Damn it", when it won't work, after his drill didn't work, The giant shalemander comes out, P-nut say's "aw Hell no", Rusty is like "What The Hell", P-nut mentioned the thing is for real, Later the Shalemander grabs P-nut, the shalemander mentioned "Did you eat your okras!", P-nut say's "Yeah, doc, yeah, yeah", the shalemander told him not to lie, P-nut mentioned "I love it, too, it's good with the cornmeal with --", The Shalemander wanted to smell his breath, P-nut mentioned he had a mint, so it can switch up his flavor, the shalemander exhales & sniffs deeply on P-nut, the Shalemander replies "You didn't eat no orkas, did ya?", P-nut said  "What", the shalemander say's "Orkas good for you", the shalemander with P-nut goes into his hole, P-nut's final lines are "What Wha", after that he was never seen again, Lil & Rusty became upset after this, he is mentioned by the cuylers at the end of the episode.
-== Appearances ==
-* "[[Thou Shale Not Drill]]" (Only Appearance)
 [[Category:Deceased]]
 [[Category:The Cuylers]]