P-Nut

P-Nut
Full Name	Paul Newburg
Birthday	August 31 1969 (Age 50)
First Appearance	Thou Shale Not Drill
Voice Actor	Ralphie May (credited under "Sweet Dick May")
Species	Human
Height	Medium
Hair Color	Brown
Occupation	Businessman (Possibly)

P-Nut (Real Name: Paul Newburg) is a Minor character in the Series with a huge Major role in the Season 8 episode "Thou Shale Not Drill", his name is named after a real-life food, a peanut, he wears black cap on backwards, wears a yellow shirt, brown pants, has brown hair, a golden PNUT necklace, a Galatacon Energy Solutions logo, he is seen owning a wrestling stadium & it has only one bull.

History

Part One

In the first part of "Thou Shale Not Drill", when many people are at his stadium during his rodeo, after Early shoots his bull, P-nut comes with his microphone, he said "Whoa, damn, Player!, you capped my only bull!", (Chuckles) "I see how y'all play in Dougal County, damn, let me introduce myself, my name's Paul Newburg from Galactagon Energy Solutions, but you can call me P-Nut!, What, What!, Can I get a "What, What?", Everyone in the stadium say's "What, What!", P-Nut then say's "Galactacon has got an unbelievably lucrative opportunity for all y'all!, cha-ching son!, makin' that money!, but we'll discuss it at y'all's cribs tomorrow right now, get them hands up for some free corn dogs!, come on, get them corn dog guns out here!", people with Corndog guns show up & shoot corn-dogs at people, after that event, P-Nut goes away, he is encountered by Dan Halen, he mentioned "Mr. Smooth-talking rap man, dropping science from the big city", P-Nut then says "Yo, I'm just a squirrel trying to find a nut, player", Dan Halen replies "Save me your squirrel analogies! you can't appeal to these rodents on a personal level!, they don't respond to human connection and empathy, I've tried it, Dan Halen mentioned he was a monster trying to drop a Chinese baby, which he wouldn't do it, Dan Halen tells P-Nut "Look, I don't know who you are or why you're here -- oh, it says it right here, wait, you can get natural gas out of the ground?", "How?!".

The Next morning, P-NUT opens the door to the Cuyler House, he say's "What's up, y'all?, it's your boy, P-Nut!, Biscui-i-i-its!", Rusty mentioned he got free biscuits, both Rusty & Granny get excited for the biscuits, Early comes up & gets the biscuits, eats them, P-Nut say's "Yeah, all right, eat up", Early replies to P-Nut "Breakfast is over!, now you 'bout to get your hat bill straightened up so you pick up your biscuit box from the city and climb your ass back into your damn -- beautiful son of a bitch!, is that a behemoth?, on a 40-inch lift kit?", P-Nut told Early "Your wanna drive it?", Early rides it until it crashes into his house, this destroyed the house, Rusty mentioned if he got all that money on biscuits, corn-dogs & jewelry, he mentioned P-NUT was Italian, P-Nut replies "No, son, I'm just rolling with big faces in my pocket!, working for Galactacon", Rusty mentioned what was Galactagon, P-NUT responds with "We're the people that's gonna pull all this natural gas out your land and get you paid with some mad stacks of money, son!, don't you want some extensions for that hair of yours?, that wispy one right there in the middle that waving back and forth", Granny mentioned that she didn't know, she wondered if she can suit her, P-Nut say's "Damn, this is a big-ass spread, Jack, Galactagon's giving out 10 bills an acre, y'all, that's mo money, mo money, mo money!, do the math!", Lil was laying on the ground, Granny mentioned Lil had little to do with math, P-NUT mentioned Lil, Granny mentioned Lil had a meth lab, P-Nut mentioned "Is that the pretty lady under this big-ass wig?", Lil say's "You here to do some drillin'?", Lil laughed, P-Nut mentions "Baby, please, call me P-Nut", Lil sucked P-Nut's hand, P-Nut said "Good suction, those ain't rib bones, baby, give me that hand back", soon Early driving the Galactagon monster truck destroyed his original truck, P-Nut say's "Whoa, whoa!, hold up, player!, ain't that your whip?", Early told P-Nut it was damn straight, Early noticed is whip, he mentioned how it happened, P-Nut mentioned "That's all right!, That's all right!, you sign this contract, and you can buy a whole feet of these, I'm gonna go to town and get my game on", Rusty tells P-Nut "Hey Wait, P-Nut,, uh, can I go with you?", P-nut say's "Can you go?, can you drive?".

Rusty & P-nut go on a drive, P-nut say's "Yo, Ruzzy, is your aunt with that crazy-ass wig single?", Rusty mentioned she was single biggest whore in the county, Rusty mentioned that she will (Fuck) (Censored by Static ) anybody out of town, P-nut mentions "Don't you think I got to get to know her first?", Rusty told him "Why?", P-nut laughs, he mentions "Oh!, that's my boy!, knuckle up, blow it up!, boom!", during a song playing in the background, Rusty & P-nut let Glenn & Krystal sigh a Galactacon paper, the next scene shows Lil at a motel with P-nut opening the door for her & letting her in, Reverend then sighed the paper, a sign placed in front of the crunch, say's "Future Drilling Site, Galactacon Greenery Savings", when Rusty & P-nut are waving at Reverend, they fish in a lake, Rusty dresses like him in a mirror, Lil leaves the motel while P-nut is in his underwear, Later Sheriff encounters P-nut & Rusty, Sheriff mentions "How are y'all getting rich all a sudden?, I bet you there's gas all up under here, if you need to level the house, just give me time to get mama's iron lung out of the crawl space", P-nut say's "Yo, Ruzzy, what's that geo survey say player?", Rusty say's "It ain't got no shale, just granite bedrock in this bitch", Sheriff say's "What That Mean?, that's good right", P-nut say's "Sorry, law dog, I know you want this, but not everybody can ride the gravy train, we gots to bounce", Sheriff say's "Well, I-I Wasn't gonna say nothing, but what you're doing here is just bad for the environment, and somebody ought to tell them what you're doing, I mean, what about our grand-kids, and their grand-kids?", Rusty mentioned he didn't have kids, Sheriff mentioned he got sluggish sperm & he mentioned that the whole world knows, he angrily say thank you to Rusty, P-nut mentioned "Have a good day, raisin sack we out, peace!".

Later Rusty knocks on the door for P-nut, Lil opens the door for him, Lil mentioned it was his turn to get screw, Lil walks out, P-nut say's "I'm gonna holla at you, Baby!", Rusty walks in, Rusty walks to P-Nut & tells him "Was Up, G", he noticed he had a big bag for, P-nut say's "I got to get on, Player!, my celly's blowing up, I got to tap-tap-tap that gas in south Dakota, son!", Rusty told him "Alright", Rusty mentioned he would drop by his crib, gets his new kicks and then they're out, P-nut replies "Whoa, whoa, Ruzzy!, I got to fly solo it ain't no team sport, but, man, I couldn't have it without you", P-nut tries to handshake with him, Rusty knew it about him, Rusty mentioned he wasn't his bud, he only used him to get gas, he runs out of the motel, P-nut comes & tells Rusty "Your Snapback!", he calls him little brother.

Later when Galactacon is using a giant drilling to drill the ground of the cuyler's land, P-nut using a microphone tells them "Stop the Drilling, Y'all! Stop it!", the fracturing boss tells P-nut "What the hell are you doing here, Newburg?", P-nut tells him they can't be drilling in the land without their no land rights, the fracturing boss say's "But you already secured those right?", P-nut uses his figure to burn the contract, The Cuylers are like "What, What!", the fracturing boss say's "What the hell are you doing", P-nut say's "I can't be letting no one frack my backyard, playboy, this is my home turf, son!", Rusty tells p-nut "Damn Straight, P-nut!, BA-boom!, whoo!, yeah!, the crew on the Galactacon truck tell P-nut "Nice working with you, you dumb son of a bitch!", P-nut say's "Hell, it's just a job my only job, UGH, I'm probably gonna lose my damn job", Granny mentioned she wil look out for the Rent-A-Hair Truck, that will come at night, she mentioned that the truck is rough like a bastard & move like cats, Rusty say's "Why'd you do it, P-nut?", P-nut say's "I didn't want you thinking I was using you, Ruzzy", Early yells P-nut for using us, they were okay on it because they would get a big payday out of it, Lil mentioned she was going to milk P-nut's fat ass for child support, P-nut say's "Child Support, y-you saying", Lil say's "Yeah!, that's right!, I poked in a hole in your rubbers", Granny & Early mentioned they do it too, Rusty mentioned he scraped semen off his hotel sheets and did put it in Aunt Lil's baby bucket his finger, Lil mentioned "Whoa-ho-ho! Hey!, shh! that's between us!", Early & the other three Cuyler's welcome P-Nut to the family, Early mentioned they were happy to have P-nut, P-nut say's "Oh, Damn it".

Part Two

In the second part of "Thou Shale Not Drill".