School Days, Fool Days

School Days, Fool Days is the Third episode from the first season of Squidbillies. It first aired on October 30, 2005.

School Days, Fool Days
Season	1
Episode	3
Airdate	October 30, 2005
Episode Guide
Previous	Take This Job and Love It
Next	Chalky Trouble

Synopsis

The Sheriff informs Early that Rusty must be given an education, so Early decides to home-school him.

Plot Overview

Rusty, ready to play soccer, is given a motivational cheer from Early and is thrown into a pen with a rooster for a cockfight. With the rooster winning, the fight stops when the Sheriff arrives--not wanting it to stop. He gives Rusty a ride home and tells Early he needs to be in school, giving him the option of home schooling.

Early teaches him about history, but neither of them remember what just happened. Poetry is taught in a gas station's bathroom stall, with Rusty reading a notice for "a good BJ" and Early dialing the number. Early thinks it's for blueberry or blackberry jam, but Granny, whom Early doesn't know is on the other end, says it's boysenberry. She thens offers a real "BJ" and Early takes Rusty on a field trip--to a field where Rusty takes a trip into a well.

It's Prom Night in the house, but it quickly descends into a knifefight between Granny and Lil over a dance with Rusty, then a make-out session. With Early firing two shots into the air, the prom's over, leading to a pop quiz in the outhouse. For a final exam, Rusty has the option of staying on the tracks while a train comes towards him, or--he has to guess what to do. He only says he wants to live, as Sheriff, dressed as a train, congratulates him on passing. Early wants the money, but Sheriff gave it to Principal Granny. All three of them are hit by a real train.

Early's Trucker Hats

• "Goal Bandit"
• "I Love Cock Fighting"
• "Free Hat Limit 1"
• "Prom King"

Characters

• Narrator
• Early Cuyler
• Rusty Cuyler
• Dan Halen
• The Mexicans
• Yellow Creature
• Ting Tong
• Snakeman
• Boyd
• Rooster
• Dan Halen's Golden Griffin
• Sheriff
• Granny Cuyler
• Lil Cuyler

Trivia

• This is the second appearance of Granny Cuyler.
• The ending of this episode is likely an indictment of the US education system not preparing students for living in the real world. Even though Rusty is unable to tell that one should move when a train is coming, they pass him anyway... Leaving him unprepared to deal with them. This is further evidenced by the fact that they all get wiped out by a train just seconds later, making it obvious that none of them were smart enough to move out of the way.
• The unknown Yellow Creature with the teeth & it wearing the black thing from the pilot that Rusty raped makes a cameo in the small crowd during Rusty's fight.