Squid Jesus
Species Omnipotent entity in the shape of a squid with a human head
shape Shape of a squid with a human head
Location Heaven
hair color Brown
height about 2 feet
first appearance
Occupation Messiah
Role Religious figure
portrayed by Fred Armisen
Squid Jesus

is the holy figure of Christianity who appears before Granny Cuyler in the form of squid. In early episodes, it appeared he was a hallucination of Granny's senility rather than an actual character. However, he is real and in "Velvet Messiah", a montage of some of his appearances to Granny is shown along with a scene where God asks why he even appeared to her in the first place. Jesus answers "She snapped a hip...!" and God says "You know they don't have bones." Jesus, who is currently in squid form, answers "I know that now!"