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The Liceman Cometh

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The Liceman Cometh is the ninth episode of the thirteenth season of Squidbillies. It first aired on December 13th, 2021 on [adult swim].

Synopsis[]

Early is forced to choose between his community and his hats.

Plot[]

Early's love of hats faces a reckoning when it causes a massive lice outbreak in Dougal County.

Early's Trucker Hats[]

  • "Booty Hunter"
  • "Swag"
  • "It's all about, That bass!!"
  • "I'm off my Walker!!!"
  • "I BELIEVE EVERYTHING"
  • A big beast labeled "Science" devouring a smaller beast labeled "Faith" with "ith" still visible.
  • A spaceship labeled "China" abducting the word "Faith"
  • "Who's your GRAND DADDY?!"
  • "Fine Ol' Solution"
  • "Been there, Done That, Got this HAT!!"
  • "Dougal + Guatemala 2017"
  • "You Can't Fix Stupid If It Don't Broke!!!"
  • "May I Help You, My Child?"
  • "Groom"
  • "Military Hat"
  • "Goal Bandit"
  • "Gator Hater"
  • "Squid Hat"
  • "American Eagle"
  • "Here, hold my hat while I have sex with your wife!!!"
  • "David Allan CEO Live In Macon"
  • "GLUG"
  • "Support Our Troops"
  • "Free Hat Limit 1" (multiple)
  • "Taste Daytona!"
  • "Bodywork by Wanda"
  • "Do it...To it!"
  • "Granite Caverns"
  • "The Big E"
  • "Swayze Crazy"
  • "John Beer"
  • "Tricky Two"
  • "Shoot First - Ask Questions NEVER!"
  • "Too Cool For YOU!!"
  • "I ANT WON JAK A LOT FROM THE SQUATTERY THE LOTTERYS SHOULD BE THE JACK SQUATTERY CAUSE I AYNT JACK SQUATTING A LOT Y THEY SHOULD RENAME THE LOTTERY TO THE JACK SQUATTERY CAUSE THAT'S ALL I EVER WIN IN IT!!!!!"
  • "Hooty Hunter"
  • "They're Not Hot Flashes, They're POWER SURGES"
  • "2005 Prom King"
  • "Early! Pc Beach '92"
  • "Lifeguard on Booty"
  • "Ice Wind, Ignite & Excite"
  • "Jesus Shave"
  • "Events by Russell"
  • "Grab Deez Nutz And Guzzle Up!"
  • "Line Dances Do It!! In A Line!"
  • "Guns don't kill people, I do!"
  • "This Hat Contains Minimum 80% Post-Consumer Recycled Hats"
  • "No Habla Jibber Jabber!"
  • "Nifty, Nifty, Look Who's 53!"
  • "Cowboy hat"
  • "Do something with your life, TAKE OFF YOUR TOP!"
  • "Warning! Do Not Wear This Hat!: I'm did Asbestos I can!!"
  • "I Love You, Daddy"
  • "I'm a P.A.W.G. DAWG"
  • "Latrine Marine"
  • "Breathe If You're Horny"
  • "Slut Rustler"
  • "Gone but not forgotten"
  • "Women Be With Me!!"
  • "I pick the hick in "Operating a vehicle while Introx-Hick-ated!!"
  • "I Like To Grab Butts!!"
  • "Go Home! America's Full!"
  • "Emergency? dial .357!!!!"
  • "Granny Hat"
  • "Giant Foam Dickhat/Donkey Erection Dickhat" (blurred out)
  • "Like Like, Good Head"
  • "Free Hat Day"
  • "Itch, Please"
  • "Going digital."
  • "Dougal County Corrections BK4013970061794"
  • "I'm Did Asbestos I CAN!!"
  • "My Other Hat is Yo' Momma!"
  • "Put Your Head Between Your Legs And Kiss Your Ass, Goodbye"
  • "VPILF"
  • "Honey I'D Suck The Fart Out of your Cart Seat!!!"
  • "T'aint one, T'aint the other!"
  • "Cash is King!"
  • "World's Greatest Illegitimate Daddy"
  • "Cards"
  • Several various trucker hats

Characters/Cast[]

Theme Song Performer[]

Trivia[]

  • This episode marks the final appearance of Dan Halen in the series, since he doesn't appear nor mentioned in the finale; "This Show Was Called Squidbillies."
    • This episode and "This Show Was Called Squidbillies", are the final episodes of the series that have aired on Adult Swim, they also are the last ones to feature a entirely different credit sequence than the usual and a theme song performer playing the episode's theme, which the latter episode plays "Warrior Man" by Billy Joe Shaver, similar to older episodes, since "Asbestos I Can, instead of a performer.
  • Glenn can be seen with his wife in a few scenes in the episode, despite their divorce in "One Man Banned."
  • This episode takes place in the span of over six days.
    • Day 4 is the only day that isn't visible onscreen.
  • At the beginning of the episode, on Day 1, Early is wearing a costume of Abraham Lincoln, the 16th President of the United States, and Rusty is wearing a costume of General Robert E. Lee. Granny is also wearing a costume with a confederate flag on it.
    • When dressed as Abraham Lincoln, he says "Four whores and seven beers ago", and then his name, to "hereby" surrender to the South, but he can't compete with "their" tenacious battlefield superiority.
    • Tammi questions the slave chains, and questions about this being foto fun, Early then mentions "Aw, here we go."
    • Kenny takes a picture of three Cuyler's in their costumes.
      • Granny: "This is a good one of all three of us."
      • Early, Rusty, and Granny quickly bring out their cellphone to take screenshots of the picture that Kenny took of them, prior to the Kenny towards them and clears his throat.
      • Granny stated if that the pictures were in color she would have bought a picture and mouse pad, and tell him not to make them yellow next time.
      • When the three Cuyler's leave the Fotofun attraction, Early asks him "No wonder these hats went out of style", and stated that they are too itchy, because of the head lice.
  • At the Sheriff's Office, Denny mentions that his tactical helmet is "itchy as hell", Sharif then said "You know, it's funny", as the latter's novelty poo emoji hat is also itchy, and he just won the hat over at the ring toss, Denny asks if they have gotten lice or not, as Denny itches his head while Sharif claimed it as "Impossible", as he doesn't have any lice, but he asks him that he wouldn't put it past his head. Denny responded with a "Why me?", as he shampoos every day, which Sharif does too, but he haven't had human contact with lice in over three years, and mentions "That's why" he tries to hug everybody all the time.
    • A picture of Sharif dressed as General Robert E. Lee and Denny dressed as Abraham Lincoln from Southern FotoFun is visible on the wall.
    • Sharif mentions "God" because his own mustache was itching like crazy.
  • On Day 3, Rusty sits on the couch in Tammi's House and asks why Randy is home, which Tammi mentions a lice outbreak in school, and that kids were saying that he brought it, as Tammi grabs Randy's money bandana to the sink to light it on fire with a lighter, as Rusty questions what she is doing.
    • Rusty revealed that he brought the bandana for Randy's baptism, Tammi then stated that her baby didn't bring any lice to the school, and Rusty questions who does she think "It was, then?", while Tammi and Rusty respectively itch their own hair.
  • At Ballmart, Early itches the head lice all over his head with hairbrushes, while grunting, as he states that the bristles "ain't stiff enough!" and explains "That's why you gotta try before you buy", as he grabs two other hairbrushes to brush off the head lice, which fails.
  • Granny told Early "Maybe you get you a new hat, it won't be so itchy for ya", as she gives Early a Swag trucker hat, but as he puts on the said hat, he mistakes the word as "Gaws" and questions it because he wore it on-backwards and took it off, as he wanted an English hat, which Granny gives him a "I'm off my Walker!!!" trucker hat, but the head lice wouldn't go away, as he brushes.
    • Early: "Damn it!, It's these damn slogans!", "I must be having a reaction to these inferior hat slogans."
  • Now because of the head lice situation, a entire crowd in Ballmart are shouting and grabbing the head lice shampoo because of the recent head lice outbreak, itching all of the hair of the local townsfolk, while Bobby told all of the folks to calm down, and only one shampoo per customer, and tells them that Lice combs and magnifying glasses are in aisle 19.
  • Glenn told Sheriff that he needs to do something about this, which the latter replies a "What would you have me do?", arrest the lice as he "ain't got" that many tiny handcuffs, as he chuckles, Dan Halen comes by and yelled at him to "Don't be an asshole", as the head lice outbreak was a "Public-health crisis", and asks him "And you know exactly who's responsible", as Early walks by everyone, itching a tennis racket, only saying "Deuces, y'all", while Dan stated that Early doesn't even play tennis.
  • At the Cuyler House, Early is rubbing bacon grease on his head, from some bacon that he is sizzling, until Sharif knocks on the door and comes in, with a shower hat on, and mentions that Early is already dealing with it, as Early brushes the bacon fat to use as he creates to style his hairdo, which he calls "Pork pomade", and he is rocking a home remedy.
  • Sharif revealed that he shampooed his hair with mayonnaise, vinegar, and olive oil, Early mentions the latter and and a walking party sub at a party that nobody wanna go to, as Early eats a small piece of olive oil that he got from Sharif's head.
    • Sharif revealed that he just did this to kill all of the lice, Early questions the latter, and stated that the Sheriff brought lice into his household, but the latter told him "Oh, no, no Look" because he isn't saying that Early have lice, which the latter responses with a "Good", because his head is itchy enough with all of the dandruff he has gotten.
    • Sharif told him if he minds if he takes a peek at the dandruff with a magnifying glass because Early has head lice itching all over his head, one of them even hisses.
  • When Early rushes to Granny, she is seen drooling on the floor, as the former said that he then gets the lice from her, as he calls her a "bitch", and asks if they must've come from her ass, where her head spends most of the "damn" day, while Granny questions about her ass getting the said lice.
  • Sharif told the Cuyler's to listen as pointing fingers "ain't" gonna solve the problem, Denny then corrects as they do as "if you" point a finger at the one who created the problem, but Sharif told him to look as everyone in Dougal County has gotten lice, so they just "gotta" put their together, but not literally, as he chuckles, because head-to-head contact would spread the lice.
    • Early: "Are you telling me I can't head-butt nobody from now on?"
    • Sharif: "No, no." "Just for the 24-hour incubation period."
    • Early: "Government overreach!", as he grunts and groans, and knocks Granny out of her walker/clutches.
  • Denny told Early to tell them about the hats' whereabouts, as explained the following transcript below.
    • Sharif: "Well, Early, um...", "You tell him, Denny."
    • Early: "Hats?, What hats?, I don't wear no hats."
    • Denny: "You know exactly what hats."
    • Sharif: "Look, I know you love your hats, but they're contaminated", "They're just gonna have to be destroyed."
    • Early: "And with that, I think we've reached the "get the hell off my property" portion of our conversation", as he aims his 12 gauge shotgun at him.
  • When getting in the police car, Early stated to them "You're trying to censor my freedom of speech!" as his hats won't be silenced, Sharif stated that "He'll come around" and Denny replies with a "Yeah, he will", with his lice and as that's the problem.
    • As they drive away from the house, Early is in the window, yelling out the following line; "You'll get my hats when you pry them from my cold, dead head!", while the cop car's siren wails in the distance.
  • Early then heads to the stove, as Down-tempo music plays, and use the switches to beep, which reveals a large hole, and underneath the hole as Early slides down the pole, followed by Rusty and Granny, who heads down, only to be crushed by Rusty. Early then reveals that he wears a lot of hats in the family as he claps his tentacles to turn on the lights of a large room featuring a collection of various trucker hats from the series, revealing the location. Yellow vehicles that pick out hats are seen in this underground location.
  • Early claimed it was the story of his life told in hat form.
  • Out of all of Early's trucker hats, Early has multiple "Free Hat Limit 1" trucker hats.
  • When Rusty picks out the "I'm a P.A.W.G. DAWG" trucker hat, Early stated that the hat stands for "Phat ass white girls."
  • Early claimed that all of his trucker hats are like his "damn" children, and states that "you have a clear favorite but you can't really share that with the rest of them. They won't understand it", Rusty then asks what he meant which is he gonna do as the Sheriff says he "gotta" destroy every single one of his hats, but Early ain't gonna do it, but Rusty told him that the hats got lice.
    • Early stated "That's exactly what the lice what him to think", as he mentions that they're in his brain controlling his thoughts now and Early then stated that they're ain't no lice in any the "Free Hat Limit 1" trucker hats, as he stacks them, and states that because he wears every hat to suffocate the said lice.
  • Plumber Bubba and Patrick Swayze make cameos on Early's trucker hats, from the episodes "Bubba Trubba" and "Swayze Crazy" respectively.
  • Early's Hooty Hunter trucker hat from the previous episode "Ol' Hootie" reappears.
  • This is the only episode of the thirteenth season to feature the Dougal County Church. And the Last appearance of the series.
  • On Day 5, the head lice infested almost if not everyone in the church, while Nubbins priests "Let my people go, or I shall bring forth a plague of locusts", and asks anyone why he would reference a plague of insects today and with a "Hmm?", this is because of the recent head lice outbreak in Dougal County, as he sees a lot of head-scratching out there, and asks with "Anybody?", Glenn told him "Oh, God" to just cut to the chase as Early is infected with lice, while the word "Persecution!" is being said out, Early said that Jesus wore the hat like his, only had his thorns, and they tried to make him shave his hair and his beard, and when he refused, they put him on unpaid leave, even though he was the son of God, but was called out by Nubbins because that's not anywhere close to what happened.
    • After hearing Nubbins, Early responded with a "Uh, well", since he doesn't listen in here, as he states that "Y'all need to set your words to music and rhyme it", telling them "Get you some graphics up there, throw some chairs" and states "That's how they do it on wrestling", as he loves some wrestling.
    • When walking out of the door, his hat stack falls off, while saying "Aw, damn it", and the attendee's continue shouting at him as he pulls the said stack out of the door, Denny then mentions "Let's just tie him down and shave his ass", since they're the police, and law enforcement of the county, Sharif then told everybody to just calm down as he states if they make this shameful for him, he's just gonna double down, and they "gotta" make him think "it's" his idea.
  • The Giant Foam Dickhat from "Giant Foam Dickhat Trouble", which is blurred out, returns in this episode.
  • At Ballmart, Bobby dips all of the hats in lice-resistant vermijeli, and they tried to print up slogans that Early might respond to, which are "Itch, Please" and "Like Like, Good Head" respectively, Sharif then chuckles and asks him if he can nailed Early to a "T", he then communicates to Denny, through static hisses, and mentions that Early is on the property, Denny said everybody to their stations.
  • Their is a monitor room revealed in Ballmart, Sharif and Denny appear in this said room to watch Early on a monitor.
  • The picket sign that Leroy has says the words "Free Hats Today" on it.
  • The Butter Bomb Jalapeno Popperit Blasters from the original "Ballmart" episode return, with a free samples being available.
  • When Early approaches Krystal, he stated that she looked good, while Krystal had a mop on her head, as she shaved her head cause of Early, which she calls him a "dipshit", but he does like him "that smooth look", and calls her "button bean", but she shave "de" everything such as the drapes, the shag carpet, and the throw rug, and stated "That's what I call my toe hair", which Early then licks her toes, off of her foot, prior to being stretched and pulled away by Leroy, his hat stack was also pulled off.
  • While in the trucker hat section, before Early heads to the tube socks, to wear one of them as a hat, he said "I think I'm gonna take this one right...here."
    • Denny stated the tube sock "ain't" a hat to Early.
  • Sharif stated "Wow" because he is playing 3-D chess, which is regular chess with some extra some, he doesn't even know how to play chess.
  • Denny stated to Bobby "It's all on you now", as the latter hears while he has two fingers on his ear, then he lifts them down and tells Early "Hey, come here", because the store is giving out free samples of our new aftershave and scalp cologne, Bronco Dieselman, which resembles the ass of an horse wearing a green hat, and is said to drive the ladies crazy, but Early stated "most bitches are already crazy" as he was sprayed by it, Bobby told him just to try a little bit behind the ears, despite speaking this Early doesn't even have any.
    • When Early was sprayed with the Dieselman, he stated it smelled like DDT and creosote, as he sniffs and likes it. Early then had to turn around and "cock 'em", Early responds to this as "What is this, Saturday night?", as his butt is spray, which is watched by Sharif and Denny, which the former tells Bobby "Way to go", and Denny responds with a "All right! Whoo! Finally. The Eagle has landed!", as all the head lice on Early's head are killed from the spray and Early then proceeds say "You have a nice day, now " to wear his sock and hat stack and walk away while Bobby smiles at the monitor and gives a thumbs up, until Early leaves while Sharif told him "Don't let him put on the hats", and grab the hats as he was getting away from the store, Leroy also chase after him but was too long since Early exited out of the doors with the hat stack.
      • After that, in the monitor room, Denny stated "We tried it your way", "Now we gonna do this...Denny style", as the screen then zoomed to Denny's face with an angry look.
  • On Day 6, Early stated that he wished his own head was in a cow's ass so he could have himself a tail to swat the lice away with, however, he called called them "sons of bitches."
  • Rusty stated that somebody is at the door, and when Early didn't know what the hell who it was, Granny opens the door and sees an angry mob of all of the citizens in Dougal County completely bald, with no signs of hair, and continue to itch their hair.
  • The angry mob was here for the trucker hats, as Early told the lice to quickly run away and protect the hats, as they hid behind the curtains, prior to the bald citizens knocking down the door.
  • Dan Halen is seen among the angry mob with any hair, making one of the few times he is has been seen bald.
  • When the angry bald citizens are going after Early, Glenn said that he wanted to shear Early's ass like a sheep with razors, which Glenn does to Early, when he is confront by everyone, also Kyle Nubbins told Early for them to point at the hats and then they would be on their way.
  • It is revealed that the head lice can use all of the trucker hats to guide their way out of the house as a humanoid, before being burned to death, which destroys many of Early's trucker hats, by Denny, using a flamethrower.
    • Dramatic music plays in the background in this scene.
  • After all of the lice and aforementioned trucker hats are destroyed in the fire, Early now only responds with a "What have you done?!", but you see all of the citizens next to him such as Dan Halen, who is the last seen here as this is Dan Halen's last onscreen appearance, due to absence in the next episode, despite it being the series' finale.
  • In the morning, down-tempo music plays in the background, as Early is crying because of his trucker hats being burned and no sign of the lice, with it all turning into ashes.
  • When Early wears a leftover trucker hat made out of ashes, the said hat disappears into the wind because of its ashes, and is gone.
  • Rusty and Randy come over to Early with a new hat they made, which is a chicken bucket, that has the words "#1 Paw Paw" on it, from Rusty's dinner last night, as Rusty knows that Early was still sad over the hats he lost, but when Early wore the new hat, he thought it was stupid, as it smells like chicken, which makes Randy start crying over it.
  • When Rusty and Randy leave, the former told the latter, who continues to cry, "It's alright", "Come on, Let's go."
  • When Sheriff heads to Early, he clears his throat, as he stated "Well, uh..." because he thought that last night was a little nuts, because as shown with the angry mob and burning of both the trucker hats and lice, and a "Wasn't it?" as he questions, he then apologizes to him because he thinks the town just lost it, and according to Sheriff, the angry mob flipped a bunch of cars after that too, and he thought that wasn't right.
  • Early stated that his life's work is in embers, because of all of the ashes the hats, which Sharif then told him to listen as he wanted to make it right, and gives Early a shampoo for lice, which he sniffs, and according to him, Early "ain't never" use no shampoo before, which Sharif likes a lot as it makes his hair shiny, but Early drank the said shampoo, which Sheriff told him a "Oh, No" for, but Early gets use to taste and liquid of the lice shampoo, as he enjoys it, and spits bubbles out of his mouth.
    • Early: "Shampoo tastes gooder than hell, baby!"
    • Sharif "It does? You mind if I, uh..."
    • When Sharif drank the shampoo, he gulps and gags on the liquid and than he spits out bubbles.
    • Early: "No, it doesn't!", which is the last line, thus ending the episode.
  • Along with "Scorn on the 4th of July", "Who-Gives-a-Flip?", and the aforementioned "Ol Hootie", this is the fourth and semifinal episode of the season to not feature a normal credits sequence.

Goofs/Errors[]

  • Many duplicated characters are seen in the angry mob of bald people that appear at the next to the Cuyler house.


References & Allusions[]

  • At the beginning of the episode, Early mentions Jabba the Hutt, from the 1983 movie Star Wars: Episode IV - Return of The Jedi, as a slaveowner that has slaves, and then claimed "But when the South does it, everyone loses their damn mind", Tammi then leaves the Southern Fotofun, with Randy, at a amusement park, probably because of the slave chains that she saw.
    • Tammi: "No. That's it. I'm."
    • Rusty: "Aw, come on, Tammi."
    • Early: "It was a states' right issue."
  • Sharif has a novelty poo emoji hat based off a Poop emoji.

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