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There's Sucker Porn Every Minute is the eighth episode from the twelfth season of Squidbillies. It first aired on September 15th, 2019 on [adult swim].


Early lets his beak flag fly.


Krystal becomes a porn star and wants Early to be the co-star of one of his films. At first, unsure of what, he goes to look at the financial gains that can be obtained and Early decides to do it alone. Benefits include money, fame on the Internet and gifts from fans. After the first film, Early discovers that his only fans are Japanese Men from the "Wiggler Tsunami", while Kyle Nubbins and the church members come and who decide to go to the motel where they were filmed to protest. Rusty then tries to reason his father to make him abandon the world of porn.

Early's Trucker Hats[]

  • "Booty Hunter"


Theme Song Performer[]


  • Early mentioned the episode's title as a website, "There'sSuckerPornEveryMinute.com".
  • This is the first and only episode in the series to be rated "TV-MA S", due to all the pornography and sexual themes used in the episode. And it is the last episode of the series to have a TV-MA rating.
  • Krystal is seen riding her moving chair that she often uses when she at Ballmart in previous episodes of the series.
  • At the beginning of the episode, Biscuit from "Thanks-Taking" is referenced when Early mentions about his dog that he ate for Thanksgiving.
  • This is the only episode of Season 12 where Krystal is seen in her normal clothes.
  • Krystal claims that Early is "hurting", she misses having all of Early's "stringy" green arms wrapped around her bosom, her front butt, and her back butt, even her neck during their special times when she requested a "choking."
  • Early has currently been lonely, when the bar lights come on, and woman's see that he's got all these wiggly danglers, and that he is filled with wobbly jelly, and then banished to the friend zone. Krystal mentioned that she was here to invite him to "my friends-with-benefits-zone."
  • When Early and Krystal leave via chair to the Motel, Rusty is seen saying his "goodbye" to them, he tells Early that Krystal is not good for him and not marry her again.
    • Krystal: "Hey, don't be crotch-blocking me, you damn turd."
  • Krystal was role-playing as a "hand-milf" in her porn-o tape with Early, with the latter is portrayed as an alien.
  • As an alien, Early has red eyes, instead of his usual black.
  • This episode reveals that Early doesn't mind role-playing, and has his own squid beak, which is underneath him, and it is his own genitalia. Rusty and Granny also has their own squid beaks.
  • The two cameraman seen in this episode are named "Alphonso" and "Lucas." Though, over five different cameraman are seen in the episode.
  • Krystal is proud that she and Early are back together, she wanted to broadcast it to the whole world.
  • The words "glorp, glorp, greepy, glork", were said by Early, as an alien in the alien themed porn-o, these words were written on signs for Early to say.
  • Instead of saying "take me to your leader", Krystal tells Early to "take me to your Weiner" in the porn-o.
  • Kenny from the episodes "Holodeck Redneck", "Frivolacious Squidigation?", and "Clowny Freaks", returns again, he is also referred to as a "hippie", this is his first time being in an episode from an another season of the show outside Season 5. Its implied that Granny and Kenny got laid together. Kenny also tells Granny that he would "call" her.
  • The word "c*ck" is censored by a chicken cluck noise.
  • Rusty mentioned "BigWigglers.com", Granny said they had homemade hentai tentacle porn, it may have been posted on other porn-sites.
  • Granny mentions that she only goes on "BigWigglers.com" via cellphone to get it done.
  • Krystal mentioned she wanted "Subscriber-driven revenue", suggesting she has a You-Tube channel or not.
  • Early mentioned that he isn't just a life-support system for his wigglers.
  • Krystal sings "Happy birthday, Mr. President", in the window, farting on cakes, this implies that Krystal and the motel cameramen were filming about farting on cakes.
  • According to the comments of the porn-o, they are named "Buff Beakman" and "CalamariCop".
    • Buff Beakman scores a direct hit "for this beak-seeking missile."
    • CalamariCop just posted raindrops and eggplants, on a comment.
    • Granny claimed that was a really good sign when they start putting up veggies.
  • Early sees fan-art of his beak, all of the fan-art are tattoos, which are all seen on a live-action arms, seen on the cellphone.
  • Rusty claimed that pornography is a fetish thing for weirdos with problems.
  • Early ends up making lots of illegal pornography themed videos of him and his beak in Dougal County.
  • When Sheriff and Deputy Denny are watching a bathtub themed video of Early showing his beak, while taking a bath, on a computer, the video edits big eyes and car ears are added to Early, his beak, and the face of a rubber ducky. The beak tells the audience to don't forget to like and subscribe on the video.
    • Also, when the two are watching this, Sheriff thought the video was going to crash his computer.
  • The limousine that the Japanese Men were riding in, appears differently at the end of the episode.
  • When Sheriff telling Denny that Early is "beak-shy", even when he exposes it to women, and makes sure to hide his own beak, not even let Sharif do a cavity-search on the beak, the community of Dougal County has standards, and calls him "CalamariCop", Denny revealed that he got hacked from someone, and Sheriff found out that he has been a member since 2007, which he claims to be a friends login, and he doesn't get off on it.
  • Some of Early's videos, which he calls "vidjas", are called "Beak Freaks on the Street", "Beak-a-Boo", and "Weak for Dat Beak."
    • Early is also adding on-demand customized videos at the "There'sSuckerPornEveryMinute.com." After saying this, Nubbins claims that their done for the day. Early then mentions that he would see them at 2:00, when they're protesting because of illegal pornography.
  • Early gotten a samurai sword from a delivery truck, via from boxes, and a samurai outfit, with squids on it.
  • Early wrote a number for Rusty, via pen, to the Wiggler Tsunami, to come down to the motel for his tentacles.
  • Both Rusty and Granny's beaks are uncensored in this episode, Granny's beak was blurred in "Debased Ball."
  • Granny's beak was called "grave bait", due to the elderly beak.
  • Rusty was called a "sexual deviant" by Nubbins, when he and the protesters were protesting at the motel for illegal pornography. Though, Nubbins still knows that it is Rusty, but its only part of the job, and then calls him a "smut peddler." After Early comes out of the motel, Nubbins called them "Purveyors of filth!, Whoremongers!".
  • Early stamped the Japanese man's buttcheeks as their autograph.
  • The various signs that the protesters hold have the words; "Porn degrades all of us!", "Procreation is not recreation!", "We weren't born-o to do Pron-o", "Dress yourself, respect yourself" and "No one wants a used cow".
  • Sheriff mentioned that he personal likes to b sealed up in a latex bag with an air horn up his own nose. He asks this to the church protesters and Nubbins to their precious Bible. All of the protesters then record this, and told them in confidence, not telling them to run off to their message board with the little tidbit. Sheriff told Glenn to take his phone down and stop recording him, and then he tells everyone to stop recording and take their phones down, and disperse. He walks away, as he said too much.
  • This is the third episode where Early's limbs have been cut off his body, the other episodes being "The Good One" and "Limbitless".
  • Shooter Jennings, who previously appeared in the episode "Muscadine Wine", did the theme song cover for this episode.
  • The tattoos were made by Southern Star Tattoo.
    • The people that made the tattoo recipients were Travis Owen, Jamel Shotomide, and Boo Worley.
  • A live-action image of the Squidbillies Tattoo Crew is seen at the end of the credits of this episode.

References & Allusions[]

  • A small ship can be seen on a space-themed background, it bares some resembling to The Mooninities ship from Aqua Teen Hunger Force, an another Adult Swim show that Dave Willis worked on.
  • The cellphone that Granny owns, has a Banana logo on the back, this is a reference to the Apple logo.
  • Early's dinosaur costume and destroying a toy version of Tokyo is a possible reference to Godzilla.
  • When Kyle Nubbins priests in church, he says "And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths." Nubbins then tells the attendees' that the lord said "Who toldou that you were naked?, have you eaten from the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?" This is a reference to the Bible's Adam & Eve, which is the same book that Nubbins is reading to the attendees.
  • Sheriff mentions that Kinsey tells us that we're all somewhere on a board spectrum of desire, also mentioning hetero, homo, BDSM leather daddies.