Woody Scouts Trainer is a minor character in Squidbillies, he is the Trainer of the Woody Scouts & is a trainer of the Pine Log 500 race at The VFW, he appears only in the episode "Trackwood Race-ist", he is shown to dislike Early, he first appears in the episode "Trackwood Race-ist" & later makes a cameo in "Dewey Two-ey".
In the episode "Trackwood Race-ist", at the Woody Scouts race, his first lines are "Okay, racers, all cars on the track for the test run".
After a conflict at the test run of the race with Russell & Early, Rusty tries to leave with his car with Macho Man Randy Cuyler, but the trainer stops him & say's "Whoa, whoa, whoa, uh, hold on there, Rusty, uh, once your car is weighed in, it has to stay here until the race tomorrow", Rusty then say's "Oh, yeah, yeah, know that", the trainer tells him "Sorry, those are the rules", Rusty then say's "I'm just gonna leave it here for the the night, by the window, so that glue can dry", the trainer asks Early "And, uh, I'm sorry you are...?, Early introduces himself to the trainer as Rusty's daddy & nemesis, the trainer say's "Oh, Rusty's daddy I've heard so little about you", Early replies "Well, you 'bout to hear plenty about me, hoss, when I lap that field at your Pine Log 500 tomorrow, all by my dam, lonesome self, yeah!", the trainer say's "Well, right, you know you have to do the race with your son", Early then say's "Okay if I drink out'chere?", the trainer say's "Yeah, i'd rather you didn't okay, gang, we vow to plant our roots with me in the rich soil of family everybody and nourished by the sunlight of our loving parents so we may grow strong, like the might oak, that's right" while Early is intimidating him then when Early say's "Hell yeah! whoo!", & beats his beer, Early say's "He's the man!".
During the day of the Pine Log 500 race, the trainer encounters Rusty with the trainer saying "So, the uh, the purplene that limping over there, is that -- that's your older brother?", Russell answers with "Yeah, yeah, mymuchholder brother", the trainer replies "Yeah, I figured, because I over heard him telling some of the other boys about the pictures of Dwight D. Eisenhower that he loves to masturbate to".
Soon the Pine Log 500 race starts, after Russell wins a race between him & Billy Morton, the trainer replies "Look, Rusty, you won", Rusty then say's "Yessir", then Rusty wins a another race with the trainer saying "You win again, Rusty" with Rusty saying "Yeah, thanks", soon at the finales, the trainer say's "All right, everyone, the are set it's Cuyler versus Cuyler in the Pine Log 500 logoff!".
The trainer say's "Racers to the track, racers to the track, it's time for the finals, soon the race begins with the trainer saying "3, 2, 1 Go!", the race starts, however a shot was fired from a shotgun from Granny to stop Russell's winning, the bullet hits a hot-dog shaped Squid of Rusty & that it lands in the wheels of Early's cart causing the cart to tip over & Russell's kart heads to the finish line making Rusty win the race, Early comes & replies "Rule violation: R7g!, no projectiles are allowed! all parts must remain secured to the vehicle", the trainer mentions "He's right, Rusty, he's right that's the rules, I'm afraid I'm going to have award the race to your dad".
Soon as Rusty learns this, Early say's "I'm the damn champion baby, whoo!", the trainer replied with "I guess you won, No, please do not drink, please, put that, put that away", Early say's "Victory, baby, is mine!, Gimme that winnin' trophy right now, baby, let's go", the trainer say's "Sure, just grab one off the table they're all exactly the same there's one for everyone & I'm obligated to ask if you want pizza", this reveals that Pine Log 500 has a trophy table for every kid that competes in the race.